To-Do or Not-to-Do

The Power of a To-Don’t List

The holiday season brings a flurry of activities. Professional associations have holiday parties. Your church has a special event, or two. You have three separate family events – his, mine, and ours. Even your neighbor has an open house! Making it to all these events can be a challenge – along with the major responsibility of finding, buying, and wrapping gifts. (One year, just for fun, I counted 54 items going to 24 people in my life!)

You might feel you have lost control of your life. Your calendar is running you. Now is the time to choose whether “to do” or “not to do.” Instead of a “to-do” list, you can make a “to-don’t” list to free yourself for the really important things – in business and your personal life.

This is also a great habit to start the New Year right.

“Creating a to-don’t list gave me a way out of the swamp. Now I’m constantly on the lookout for things I can not do.”
— Jeri, Communications Consultant

Coach Sally Helgesen, who works with women leaders, says that as you grow in your career, it’s not just about what you do but also what you let go of. The to-do list is what you embrace; the to-don’t list is what you release. Both are essential for managing your responsibilities, relationships, and energy.

Jeri, a participant in one of Sally’s workshops, said creating her to-don’t list was a game-changer. She realized she’d been piling on tasks until her days felt oppressive. By consciously choosing what not to do—and holding herself accountable—she finally felt free.

What’s on a To-Don’t List? Your list doesn’t have to be dramatic. Small, specific actions work best because they’re doable and concrete. Here are some real examples from women who’ve done this work:

• I’ll stop answering the phone on the first ring—it makes me feel rushed.
• I’ll stop saying “yes” right away. I’ll give myself time to think first.
• I’ll stop nodding during conversations so it’s not misread as agreement.
• I’ll stop chasing the approval of a colleague who clearly resents me.
• I’ll stop getting pulled into family drama.
• I’ll stop answering questions with “Yes, but…” (it’s just a sneaky way to contradict).

Why it matters: If you keep adding to your to-do list without letting go of anything, overwhelm is inevitable. Your energy gets depleted, and you might start to feel resentful or burned out. A to-don’t list is a tool to protect yourself and focus on what really matters.

My advice? Be intentional. Decide what serves you and your goals—and what doesn’t. Then commit to letting the rest go.

What’s on your to-don’t list?

On your side,

Catherine Jewell
The Career Passion® Coach

PS: I’m setting aside 15 complimentary coaching sessions to help you reset your career for 2025. If you’re at a crossroads, ready to step up, or eager to find a new position, this is the conversation to get started. These spots will go fast. So, claim your 1-hour session by phone now by using this link.